Jasmine You's last days.

July ~ Jasmine You begins to feel ill.

2st of August ~ Jasmine You is hospitalized, and suspends all activities. The haitus is planned for around 3 weeks.

Between 2nd-6th ~ Jasmine You realises he isn't going to survive, and begins mailing people, acting as if all is ok.

Between 6th-8th ~ Jamine You becomes so ill he can't walk. He wishes to see the night sky of Yokohama, so his family drive him their. Unfortunately, he was too ill to leave the car.

The morning of the 9th of July ~ Jasmine You passed away.

Jasmine You listened to "HIZAKI grace project" endlessly before he died, and was cremated in an outfit he wore in "HIZAKI grace project". The funeral was held on the 12th of August.

Heteroandrophobia

You don't stand a chance, honey.

~

While reading some blog posts by Jasmine You's friends, I found this, posted by You of Matenrou Opera.

"If any of Jasmine's fans are reading my blog right now, I have one request.
Please don't hurt yourselves.
Promise me that.
I think that it will take quite some time for everyone to be able to accept what happened.
I feel the exact same way.
Even if it takes a long time, please move forward and live life to its fullest.
I beg of you.
Those sad tears are your tenderness.
It'll be all right. You're moving forward and living.
The notes that Jasmine played will remain forever.
Although you may find yourself feeling sad whenever you listen to Versailles' songs, please take good care of the evidence of Jasmine's existence."

I'm sorry, You.

http://revenantchoir.net/othersmsg.html

Every single one of these messages made me cry. I even have respect for kisaki now.

Rest peacefully our beautiful decendant of the rose.

...

I never thought having your heart broken would physically hurt.

I'm so strong

A while ago, I promised myself that if I were to break up with anyone, I would be strong. I would be like Skin.

"Weak as I am, no tears for you."

"I would rather spend my time
Alone in my room
Than spend it with you"

"I won't be lost without you
I've found a way to get through
Now i'm up and running, strong enough to walk away,
And leave you alone, I won't be lost"

"Now I know I have to live without you
I can only bend so far
Guess it's time to make some moves
Without you"

I failed.

I don't think you quite understand...

... How much I love you; how much I've cried; how much you hurt me.

I've let you walk all over me, because I love you. My pride, my dignity is in shreds because of you. And you know, that wouldn't matter if you would just forgive me.

Just have me back... how long must I wait?

I won't even ask for an apology.

But I can't wait forever.

It's my life, I guess.

Someone once said to me;

"You have a choice.
Follow your dream,
Or your heart.
Anyone else can have both,
But you can't.
Not with your dream.
Or you will hurt everyone."

So what do I pick? Do I have to chose now? Or can it wait?

Can I avoid it forever?

Leyla

This was supposeed to be a happy entry.

I'm still in love with you.