44 of Forever

I wonder how many times
I can glue these ropes back together,
And how many holes I'LL need to stitch
By the time YOU realise that I'M

Far from perfect,
And still need to learn
That honesty is best
And touching another is wrong.
And really I'M a beast
With a taste for innocent blood,
And I'LL tread on YOUR fingers
While YOU'RE holding on for dear life.

I wonder how many times
YOU will accept my apologies.
I promise I'M not lying
When I'M saying sorry,
Or I wouldn't tear it in MY flesh,

To make ME far from perfect
And still needing to learn
That beauty doesn't exist
And OUR lives are never long.
And I'M some sort of monster
Who will eat YOUR weak heart,
And tread on YOUR grave
To lay the flowers I made of MY skin.

And still I wonder if,
YOU were to read this,
And understand
How much YOU'RE giving up,
And realise
How much I will hurt YOU,
And Imagine
Just how much I love you,
And what I'M giving up,
And how much I'M hurting,
And Just how much I love,

I wonder if YOU would keep ME,
Even though I'M

Far from perfect,
And still need to learn
That love still exists
And that what MY mind tells ME is wrong.
And that MY heart will tell ME
What is right and what is real,
And take ME to MY death
With a smile and with YOUR hand.

And can YOU make ME perfect
And help ME somehow learn,
That YOU really do love ME,
And that YOU can make ME strong.
And not to be afraid of
Letting it all out to YOU,
And walk with ME forever
And make MY flowers bloom.

And the others never meant a thing.
The whole time I was thinking of YOU.

Lilly

There is only one flower left...
Just one...

It is white for now. Not yet fully bloomed, waiting.
Never will it be red.
Now black.
Dry.
Dead.
Crumbled.

Because you left that beautiful flower, that beautiful rose.
You never saw her bleed.
Never loved her, not once.
You never kissed her, or held her.
You didn't warn her, or bid her farewell.

I'd say it is uncaring, but I know I'd do the same...
I tried my hardest...
I will always understand, know what it feels like to be like you...

You don't believe me, but I know.

Please, please stay.

FUCK YOU. I'M STRONGER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE.

You will not scare me. I'll scare you sooner.
You will not hurt me. I'll hurt you.
You will not make me cry. Maybe scream, in pleasure, benifits of being a masochist.
I will not feel guilt. For I am a tyrannical sadist.
I shall not fall. I'm watching your every move.
You shall not win. I will make you lose.
You shall not live. I will kill you.

Final

You are perfect.
You are mine.

愛してるわ
(Ai shiteru wa)

Tongue

私は死んだ。
(Watashi wa shinda)

Und gehaftet zwischen welten

Mi lengua muerta lo gris

And makes me scream.

Petals

Arms and legs, cut and scratched into shreds,
Veins lying on the gravel, minced muscle and skin.

Choked on blood and plegm,
Lungs full of the vile mix,
Spilling from frozen lips down the contours af a marble face.

Throat crushed by ribbons,
Glass eyes smashed and leaking.

And the bloodied petals.

Crushed in her hand.

Blood

It's all I see right now. Blood.

I can hear screaming. Why won't she shut the fuck up? No-one wants to hear her, why doesn't she just get that? Her voice is annoying.

I've had enough of her.

Even her bones are annoying, getting between my knife and her organs. And she is screaming louder now!

SHUT UP! I SAID SHUT UP! And stop crying, it makes you look ugly.

This is taking too long. She won't listen. At least she has stopped crying now. I knew hammering her eyes with the blunt end of my knife was a good idea. Maybe I can stop her screaming?

There, that worked. You should see her, her mouth filled with mashed tounge and eyes. It's rather beautiful.


Oh... she stopped moving. I think she is dead. Shit, how did that happen?

Needles and Oranges

I hear footsteps on carpet and floorboards creek, and the tears I still weep.

Long after I am dead and rotten and dust, I still weep.

Strawberries and Cream

It is a seed that spills
In beautiful colours.
Red and white,
Strawberries and cream.

Both in me,
Leaving me,
Draining me,
Killing me.
Leaking from glass eyes,
Cracked by his steal.
Crystals mix with
Strawberries and cream.

Then broken.
Cracked.
Splintered.
Grazed.
Tarnished.
Scarred.

Onwards in the dark,
I wear my crystals with pride,
And eat my strawberries.
I can still taste the cream.
It makes me sick.
Tastes like cream,
Tears me.
Filling me.
Tastes so bitter...
Strawberries... cream