Fetishes

I was having a lovely conversation today with someone about fetishes. We each made a list... I'm gunna post mine.

Asphyxiophilia - sexual arousal caused by loss of control over ability to breathe. Self strangulation or allowing another person to asphyxiate oneself.

Autassassinophilia - sexually aroused by putting oneself in situations in which they may be killed. They really have to feel they are in danger in order to be sexually aroused.

Biastophilia - In this paraphilia the person is sexually aroused by the idea of being raped. This is scripted and planned out ahead of time with a partner. The person does not actually want to be raped by a strange.

Narratophilia - Telling dirty stories is sexually arousing.

Stigmatophilia - Body piercing and tattooing but not ear piercing is sexually arousing.

Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay.

Algophilia - Enjoyment or arousal from pain.

Autagonistophilia - Arousal from being on stage, being in front of a camera or in the public eye.

Autogynephilia - Sexual excitement from cross dressing.

Automasochism - The act of inflicting pain or injuries on oneself as a way of causing sexual stimulation.

Merinthophilia - Arousal from being bound.

Munchausen's syndrome - Arousal from opening a wound.

Ochlophilia - Arousal from biting

Paraphilia - Arousal from acts that are generally considered unacceptable by the fetishist (themselves) or society.

Phlebotomy - Blood letting. Often practiced for sexual purposes by Vampyres.

Phobophilia - Arousal from fear

Rhabdophilia - Arousal from being flogged, beaten or caned.

Vampirism - The drinking of blood/fetishism for blood.

Vincilagnia - Arousal from bondage.

Anophelorastia - arousal from defiling or ravaging a partner

Asthenolagnia - arousal from weakness or being humiliated

Altocalciphilia - arousal from ones partner wearing high heels

Autassassinophilia - fantasizing about one's own masochistic death by murder

fuuuuuuck.

Dear Leyla...

Wake up. Don't you see what you are doing?

Stop fucking Sam around. She loves you, so love her back. Treat her right. Forget about everyone you fall in love with after 2 weeks, they don't need you. Sam needs you.

Get the fuck out of your house... please. Stop getting hurt. Just leave. I know it's worst case scenario but you could end up dead. I know because I was once like your brother. I almost killed my mum. So just leave.

Stop your drinking. Now. Before you end up addicted.

I think that is all for now...

Dear Sam...

Lack of being loved is reason enough to die, I understand that. It has almost finished me a few times...

I hope you listen to what I have to say... You probably won't, since you don't actually know me, but I still do care...

I know I hardly ever talk to you, but I still care... You are a lovely person...

I won't say you deserve better than Leyla, since you do love her, it would be a cruel thing to say, but she needs to treat you better. You deserve that much.

But if you kill yourself, you are taking away your chance to win her.

I've given up on her, but you need to fight for her.

And as stupid as it may sound, I am here for you. Just email me or something if you need anything.

The stagnant bubble bursts

There are some rules all people should follow... It makes us better people if we do.

Always say what you have to say, regardless of consequences. People need to hear you proint of view, everyone needs to be heard.

And tell the truth...

~

I got my lip pierced today. I want Katty here... to wipe the blood from it, and to chear me up. The only down side to that would be that I wouldn't be able to kiss her...

Did you know...

The average amount of times someone will fall in love in their lifetime is 3?

I am on number 2.

And I have no regrets about leaving number 1 behind. She was never worthy of me, but number 2 is.

I love number 2 more right now than I ever loved number 1.

It scares me a little...

...

paedophilia=/=mucking about with mates.

FYI.

I'm fucking losing it

Fuck...

Too much right now...

Still, I'd rather be a druggie than a filthy fucking skank.

You fuck everyone around.

So I don't want to bother anymore.
I was going to give it a while, and try to get you back.
But now I don't fucking want to.

You are an insensitive bitch.
You don't know what love is.
Every time you say you love someone, you are lying.
You don't have enough of a heart to love.

And this isn't just between us.
You do it to others too.
All you want is a bit of fun.
Stop fucking pretending you care.

I have kept loving you.
But as I have been writing this...

I think my love for you might have died.

DAMN YOU BRAIN

Why do you make so many people attractive?

I have very strong feelings for 3 people, in love with one.

WTF?

Love, Hate

So, some other people did it, thought I might too.

Leyla
Love: Everything about you
Hate: You not being with me

Jess
Love: How you care for me
Hate: How unhappy you are

Katty
Love: Everything about you :3 You are such a darling
Hate: How you can't see the good in yourself

More later. I'm lazy.

I'm sorry

Jess and Leyla, I'm sorry. I don't know what the fuck I'm thinking right now. Nothing in my head makes sense any more. I'm sorry.

I'll promise that I will stay alive as long as I can. I'll try.

I love you two. Alot.

Talk to me on msn, please?

Good Times

So, more upbeat blog now.

~: Several people want me. That makes me happy.

~: Kat and Steph are awesome, and hot. I have a bit of an internet girl-crush on the both of them. Damnit. But seriously, those girls are fucking sexy. Why must I do this. But like I said, dayum. Hotness and niceness XD But mostly Kat. Hot and amazing and nice and wonderful and beautiful and... I'll shut up now.

~: Still not over Leyla. Will I ever be? Though drugs are helping.

~: I noticed that people I see IRL I don't mention by name in my blogs.

~: RP is fucking sexy.

~: WWI was filthy. Hair combings and hair pins in greasy gravy? I actually vommited while reading that.

~: CGL is going well. Designs have been started. I need an idea for the name of CGL. So far we have CGL, which stands for "Cyber Goth Loli" and "Candy-Go-Go-Lolly-Pop-Yum". Ideas will be apreciated.

It's a trap

So, I shall be doing a little ranting in this post. It might get long.

First: Sexism

~: FUCKING STOP IT PEOPLE. In my english language class, we were learning about differences in how sexs speak and are portrayed. For the most part it was in good humour, which I didn't mind. I will admit to being sexis, racist and homophobic in jest, but I don't honestly mean in. But after a while it just got damn offensive. And some people seemed to think boys HAVE to act like boys, and girls HAVE to act like girls. God forbid someone doesn't act like or identify as their cis gender, aswel. Go eat your fucking stereotypes, I'm going to sit here, play games, watch porn and drink some beer.

~: How come guys can do everything and be cool, yet it is the other way around for girls? I admit, I have been acting... inapropriately towards a guy who is taken. So then, I am branded a whore, a slut, a sket. My behaviour is appaling. And for acting in the same way, he is... well, none of the above. Hypocrisy much? Stupid people.

Second: Drugs

~: If I want to smoke, I will. If I want to take drugs, I will. It doesn't make me a bad person, it won't even change me. Simply because all the time you have known me, i've been on drugs. You only found out recently, but it has been going on for 6 years now. Sorry to dissapoint you.

Third: Eating

~: I'm not eating. Get the fuck over it.

Fourth: Mental health

~: I am losing it. I am becoming crazy and suicidal, and I know I won't survive this time. I don't have long left. But seriously, stop fucking worrying about it. I'm not worried.

Fifth: College

~: I'll finish college before I kill myself. Don't worry your pretty little heads. Also, college is too stressful. HATE.

"You better do a good job lubing me with that pretty mouth of yours..."

"... or else it might be a bit too rough for you fragile looking body to handle."

I got my first Mana-muse today, he has already had a little fun with Kisaki. It seems as innocent as Mana likes to portray himself, he can't resist temptation.

Again, I am far too adicted to RP.

I'm addicted to my fantasy worlds. Pretending I am not who I really am.

That is why I love college so much, It's another fanatasy world, where I can be who I want to be.

Will you all just STFU.

Char, Leyla, stop it.

YOU ARE NOT FAT.

FFS.

I swear to god, I will hunt you both down and knock your heads together.

On another note

Akui, my dear.

I love you :D

You are brilliant. Seriously.

*hugs the amazingly cool ostritch*

Confession time

I am a heroin addict.

I am suicidal.

... fuck.

24

Hmm... Today is the first day in years that I have listened to Jem. She has a lovely voice...

Tomorrow I start college. It is terryfying. I am almost petryfied by fear. All the people, the new start. I won't know what to do...

Akui and Jess are back, I have missed them both so much. I'd go crazy without them.

And finally, I might be going away soon...

... Don't let them take me.

You aren't worth my fucking time.

I am sure you are all familliar with that saying, "Their is a fine line between love and hate." And maybe some of you will know that House once said "No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate."

I have learned that neither is right.

Love and hate are the same.

I am in love, and I hate her. I love her enough to want her back, and hate her enough to break her neck.

Whore

You aren't sorry, you don't love me.

So fuck off.

Go drink yourself to death, get yourself raped and pregnant.

I don't care anymore.

Fucking Fuckity Fuck

Why can't she consider my feelings?

Has she no fucking self control?

Fuck.